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A person can have a ‘winning’ personality because they know how to get on and put their best self across.

You don’t need mental and moral qualities to be ‘funny’ – just ask some of the dodgier comedians out there – and you don’t need mental and moral qualities to be charming and popular – just ask some of the famous people of this world whose reputations are in stark contrast to what they get up to behind closed doors.

It’s also safe to say that a person could be incredibly intelligent but lack morals, and a classic mistake that us BR folk make is assuming that intelligence is synonymous with morals.

We might be very intelligent and a number of other things and have strong moral fibre but that’s not to say that if we met somebody who worked in the same field as us and was super intelligent, that they would share our core values.

Lots of us know how to act socially, especially when we don’t have to be around these people all of the time but as relationships progress, we do have to interact in a variety of situations that give us a true sense of who a person is but also, once we are spending a great deal of time around them (such as in a romantic relationship) and they unfold into their true selves, that’s where you see character – the mental and moral qualities that distinguish a person.

In much the same way that hair dye grows out and the roots start to show, people unfold and a person who is playacting at being of a certain character does gradually show signs of it if we’re listening and watching.

Over the years of writing BR, I’ve heard from so many people who are genuinely perplexed as to how somebody can be helping out at the old folks home, doing charity this and charity that, popular in various circles and yet not so kind and generous to them.

Personality is about persona and that ultimately comes down to the qualities and characteristics that we want to put across but this may not always be the same as those which represent our true and consistent character.